NO WAX::: WORDS "Product contains less than 1% real - anything."

"Product contains less than 1% real "



These are interesting times in my life.  There have been so many turns and evolution's and surprises.  I can't really believe I have not been here to lay it all out for me to process and you to look at.






I have witnessed such extraordinary displays of strength and pain, fear and determination and  success and failures.  It calls to my attention the topic of pain.  What is it?  Physical, mental and emotional -  all different person to person.. all very real and very intense... or is it?

I can only assume that everyone's pain thresholds are different - maybe they vary greatly.  I wonder what hurts worse - your broken leg, my broken heart or their broken mind.  How can some so easily use this as a stepping stone while others are pulled to the buttom by the weight that is only experienced inside ourselves.

Feeling, emotions and the effects on ourselves are completely contained inside of our own bodies and minds.  Are they even real?  Are we not certain their only electrical impulses traveling to our brain?  Who then controls them.  Why can't we simply control our emotions and feelings like any other electrical device.  Why can't I hold the remote control to my mind and body?

How is it that someone can run 40 miles in severe pain with a very substantial injury and I can not seem to get out of bed paralyzed by pain and fear and hopelessness.  I know that I make decisions about how people, places and things will affect me and just how much but it seems unconscious at this point.  Like all my defaults have been set and I am unable to make changes to myself.  

I can only say that at this point, the pain is great ~ I have nothing left in my heart, mind or soul.  I am empty.  The physical body in total disarray.  My mind bent, twisted and destroyed like the most horrific car crash of all time.  I have completely given up on anyone trying to be in my life and understand what I am about and who I want to  be with. 

The events of the past week have so finally proven to me - there is truly no point to any of this - at all.